When I was around 6 or 7 I had a traumatizing dental visit. I remember a lot of pain and being scared and wanting my mom immediately. After I left there I was so afraid of dentists I would panic, cry, and plead with my mom to not make me go again. I was almost 16 before I finally found the courage to go again, and this was because my younger sisters had started seeing a pediatric dentist in our town, the only pediatric dentist, and I realized that if they were ok with it that maybe I should give it a try again. Dr. Goebel was great, however he stopped seeing patients at the age of 16. I was only able to get a small handful of visits with him before I reached his age limit.
If I had continued to go to a dentist throughout my childhood, I wouldn't have the awful teeth that I do now. It's awful to meet new people and think of how you can be polite but at the same time try to hide your teeth when talking or smiling. My two front teeth stick out much farther than the rest, and there is just no way to hide it. I hate taking pictures, I hate to smile around new people. When I introduce myself to someone I can actually see their eyes drift down to my teeth as I talk. It's humiliating. I often wondered why my parents didn't put their foot down and drag me by the hair into a dentists office when I was younger.
But now I am a parent and I realize exactly why. Olivia has been afraid of dentists since her first visit, and nothing traumatizing happened as I was in the same room with her the whole time. She is now 8 years old and still starts crying the moment the tell her to open wide. They don't even have to touch her and she starts freaking out, which only makes matters worse because it drags the time we are there out even longer. I have tried everything from promising a new toy afterwards to firmly telling her that no matter how much she cried she was going regardless and would stay there until they were done doing whatever it is they needed to. Her last visit was just a simple cleaning and before we went in I was truthful with her about my own feelings. I told her what it was like to get teased in school, to never want to have a picture taken, and if I had to how I would practice smiling different ways in front of a mirror to try to find a smile that showed as little of my teeth as possible but still looked ok. I told her that I refuse to let my children grow up with teeth like my own. As much as I don't like to see her cry, I would never forgive myself if I didn't force her to go now so she won't regret it later. She did great and had no cavitites which was a biggie for her. They did say that she will more than likely be needing braces within the next 6-12 months. It was the best news I had heard, cuz to me it meant that she was going to have her teeth well taken care of.
Vanessa had a cleaning that day as well. She has always been the lucky one. Never a cavity, perfect looking teeth. Well, this time they did find two tiny spots that needed to be fixed in the way back. I had a feeling that would happen as she doesn't brush back there the way she should and although I try to help her out she has a gag reflux that is just awful (gets that from her dad). They also said that she has a crossbite that would require an expander in about a year or so. I don't have too much info on this yet, but from what I've found online it sure doesn't look fun. Today she had an appointment to get the cavities filled. I was so nervous. I talked to her so much beforehand, explaining that this wasn't going to be the same as a cleaning, but how they had to get the sugarbugs out before it made her teeth hurt. When it came time for the numbing, I was a mess. All I could picture was Olivia crying in my mind, and here was Vanessa, only 3 years old, and as her mom I just wanted to protect her, make sure she wasn't scared. I wanted to yank her out of that chair and just run out the door with her. But inside I knew we had to get it over with. I was blown away. She didn't flinch once through the entire procedure. She mentioned that it hurt a little when they were numbing her, but that was all she said. She only cried once, and it was after we had left and were in the car. The puffy, tingling cheek and tongue was bothering her and I think she was confused about it. She started crying and said that it hurt, but she fell asleep in the car and by the time we got home she was fine. I am so relieved that it went smoothly for her. I was way more stressed out about the whole visit than she ever was!
Now that I am a mom, I can see why my own mom didn't force me into any dentists offices after my bad visit. She didn't want to see me in pain. She wanted to protect me, just like I felt for a brief moment in that office today with Vanessa. In a strange sense, I am glad that I have the teeth that I do. It has forced me to make sure that my girls are always brushing their teeth morning and night, and that they are keeping up with their dentist appointments, regardless of how much they might hate it. I AM protecting them, not from the dentist, but from the way society can treat a person based on their looks alone, thanks to my teeth. Don't get me wrong, if our dental insurance covered braces, I would get them put on immediately. I would love to get them at the same time as Olivia so we could go through it together. But money is tight. We have a house that we are working on, a baby on the way, some major dental stuff coming soon for the girls. I have learned to deal with my teeth for this long, I guess I'll just continue to deal with them till one day I can just yank them all out and get dentures. Then they'll be nice and straight like I've always wanted!
