Fisch-Face

Good Ole' Mother Nature

2009-04-03T07:09:00.000-07:00

I think a large majority of us North Dakotans have thrown our arms into the air and shouted "Why God? We've had enough now. It's time to give us a break!"

The past few weeks of thunderstorms and hail, next day blizzard, and the following day flooding....repeat cycle---well, its a trying time for us all. But there is something I've noticed through all of this. While people are being evacuated from their flooded homes, while the city I live in is closed due to either water levels too high, or so much snow no one can drive safely anywhere, the people in this state are handling things so much differently than, well-other states.

You will not see people on the news shouting that this is the Presidents fault, or the governments fault. You will not see looting. You will not see people crying and screaming and DEMANDING someone come and rescue them and hold their hand through the next few months.

We have all come together as one and are working day and night to fight the flood, to clean the streets, to do what is necessary to get our lives back to normal. You will actually see people smiling and laughing as they fill those sandbags and pass them on down the line of people who are building these dikes. What else can you do really. Putting blame on everything and everyone else is not going to accomplish anything. This is weather. S#*! Happens! As awful as it is, we suck it up and deal with it. I have never witnessed such a thing as this-a whole state working together instead of waiting for someone else to do it for them.

I love being a North Dakotan. We are strong, and proud, and we will survive this.

Amelia is here!

2009-03-14T20:41:00.000-07:00

I thought I would share some details of the big day. I was supposed to go in and be induced at 7:30am on Tuesday morning, but they were full so I didn't get to go in till 12:30 in the afternoon. At least it was the same day and not too late.

There was a med student that was going to be assisting with the delivery, who was actually my doctor's daughter so that was kind of neat. She checked me right away when I got there and said that I was dilated to 5. I was so excited to be that far, and a bit in shock since I was only at a 1 the week before. So they called the doc to come break my water. When she got there she checked me and informed me that the outside of my cervix was dilated to 5, but the inside was only at a 1. It funneled in and she was unable to break my water until the inside dilated more. So they put a pill in that was to help me dilate and then we walked the hallways for hours. At 9:00pm she broke my water and again we walked for hours. I was having contractions at this point, but they didn't get too terrible until about midnight.

At around 1:00am the anesthesiologist was coming to the floor for another lady, so they talked me into getting mine down right away as well. I was worried that it was too early yet and that it would slow things down. I was only at a 3 at this time. It took the guy 3 times to get it in right and then there was no more walking because I couldn't lift my legs. But I was able to relax from the contractions so Marei and I both slept finally. I was woke up on and off throughout the night, but I was kind of out of it so I don't remember too much about what they were all doing to me. At 5:30 they checked me and I was at 4. They checked me again at 6:30 and I was still at 4, but they said my cervix was completely thinned and that things should start to pick up now. I didn't believe them. It seemed like I had been there forever and just wasn't dilating fast enough. I was starting to worry about needing a c-section because I had my water broke for so long with nothing progressing. But when my doctor came in right before 8:00am she checked me and I was at 10 and ready to push. I couldn't believe it. I went from 4 to 10 in about an hour. So they brought in all the stuff they needed, and before I knew it they were telling me to push. After just a few pushes I was looking at a beautiful baby girl. She was in no hurry to come in the beginning, but when she decided it was time she meant it. We spent a couple hours with her before they took her to the nursery for her tests and so on. Then we tried to catch up on some sleep before we started to get guests that afternoon.

Olivia and Vanessa sure do love their sister. We were discharged at 2:45pm on Thursday and they haven't stopped competing for the chance to hold her or feed her since. So far Amelia is a wonderful baby. She cries only when she wants a bottle, otherwise she sleeps or just looks around at everything and everyone with these big eyes full of wonder. We couldn't be happier, or feel more blessed! God has been good to us and we are so thankful for our new baby girl!

P.S. I Love You

2009-03-06T08:18:00.000-08:00

Dear Baby,

The doctor has scheduled me to be induced on Tuesday. I cannot believe in just four short days I will be heading to the hospital. Right now I am so excited to meet you. I'm sure that morning I will have so many mixed emotions-excited, anxious, nervous, scared. I'm still in shock when I think back to the beginning of our journey together. I thought I had mono, it just seemed so reasonable being Olivia had it and we were experiencing the same symptoms. But when Olivia was better and my symptoms were still there, I realized something else was going on. That was when I discovered you.

You had me very scared in the beginning. I tried not to get too excited-not because I didn't want you but because I was afraid of losing you. Mommy had a run of bad luck before you came so I was a little on edge about how to feel about you. When that 12th week arrived and you were still going strong, I began to finally smile and get excited. And when I saw your little face at that 20 week ultrasound, I knew you were going to be fine! For the first time I allowed myself to truly believe nothing bad was going to happen this time. You are my little miracle!

I'm now realizing I'm feeling your last kicks, last hiccups, last movements inside. Its bittersweet--I will miss those feelings, yet I am so excited to finally hold you in my arms, hear your cry, see your face, and to watch you grow. You have two sisters who are very anxious to meet you. Although they hope you are a boy, I know that they will love you just the same if you are a little girl. Daddy just wants you to come out so that he can finally meet the new member of our family and be a more active part of your life. We are ready for you! Everything you will need is waiting to be used, and I find myself staring into the bassinet with a smile on my face-just waiting with anticipation to see you laying inside.

So until that time comes, I would just like to send out my last requests. If you can make this a smooth and quick delivery, you will make your mommy so happy! Well, I will be happy no matter what when you arrive, but it sure would be a nice bonus. Also, your sisters were very good sleepers from day one. If you could please follow in their footsteps and stay away from that dreaded 'colic' that I had as a baby, that would be greatly appreciated. With daddy working two full-time jobs, he won't be able to assist as much with the nightly feedings/diaper changes. So you and I need to cooperate with each other and then things will be just fine! And with that, all I have left to say is that I can't wait to meet you on tuesday and you are more than welcome to make an early arrival this weekend if you choose to do so.

Love,
Mommy

P.S. I LOVE YOU

Is it cat time?

2009-03-06T07:24:00.000-08:00

A little over a month ago we had lost our beloved cat. We had him since the day he was born and of all the cats I've had in my lifetime this cat was the best! Olivia is a big cat-lover, and this cat was a big Olivia-lover. His name originally was White Socks, but Olivia was young when he arrived and she just called him Kitty. Eventually that became his name, with the nickname of Big Fat Fatty following because of his enormous size. But Fatty became sick and telling Olivia that he had passed on was the most difficult moment I've experienced as a parent so far. I cried all day just thinking about having to tell her, and when she shrieked out and latched on to Marei and just shook and sobbed-it was just horrible.

Since then she has been able to move on. We still talk about Fatty every day, and although we are able to smile at the memories we have of him, it still makes my heart hurt a bit to think that he is truly gone from our lives. Olivia has recently mentioned that she is ready to start looking for another cat. The baby will be arriving in less than a week and of course we will have to get settled in with the baby first before we bring a new cat into the house. I am thinking that an adult cat might be a better option for us. Kittens are fun and adorable, but there are so many adult cats needing to be adopted from pet shelters or being given away from their owners who for whatever reason cannot have them any longer. I'm nervous about it this time around. Normally when you get a pet you think of all the fun stuff, picking a name, playing with it, watching it be silly and making the kids laugh. But now all I can think of is...Is it healthy, How long will this 0ne be around for, what if it gets sick, what if it doesn't adjust to us or our dog? I'm so afraid of losing another pet and having to go through all of that again. I guess I just have to do some smart shopping this time, ask all the right questions, and pray for the best.

It's been awhile!

2009-02-27T19:18:00.000-08:00

Wow, I haven't been on here forever! Thought it might be time to post some new info on here.

I'm now 37 weeks. I'm very uncomfortable. I get mad when I see these extremely pregnant women walking around like no big deal. I can barely move without feeling pain throughout my stomach, back, and 'down there'. Doc says my body is reacting differently cuz I'm older now. I guess I didn't realize that 31 was getting too old to have babies! How do those 40-something women do it?

I started having contractions back when I was around 34 weeks. I thought they were Braxton Hicks. Never had them with the girls so I wasn't too sure. It got pretty uncomfortable one night so I went in to have them check it out for me. They were registering as real contractions. They were mild and irregular, so I was sent back home and told to take it easy to prevent myself from going into actual labor. I must have done good, since I'm now at the end stage and wishing those contractions would get stronger and closer together.

I had an appointment on wednesday and was sent in for an ultrasound to make sure the baby wasn't breach-it wasn't. The ultrasound tech said that from the look of everything I could have this baby any day now. He also said that the baby is weighing in at approximately 7 pounds 10 ounces already. My due date is the 18th which is still 3 weeks away. My doc is leaving town on the 14th so she had planned on inducing on either the 11th or 12th. Now I'm kind of hoping she will up it to this coming week to make the baby's weight just a tad bit easier on me! Olivia was 10 pounds 4 ounces, Vanessa was close to 9. I would love to stick in the 8 pound range if at all possible-experience an average sized baby for once! But I can't complain-they may have been big but they were healthy.

So now I'm just playing the waiting game. Hoping that this baby will decide it's ready soon. I've never experienced going into labor naturally. I would like to not have to be induced this time around, but at the same time I don't want to wait too much longer either. So I've packed our bags, got all the baby items we needed to get, and I'm gonna spend the weekend cleaning everything I possibly can in the house to keep my mind off of it!

Last update of 2008.

2008-12-29T15:09:00.000-08:00

We had a wonderful Christmas this year. The kids must have been good because Santa brought them what they asked for. I'm definitely getting to that uncomfortable stage of pregnancy. It has become painful just to walk around the house, and I am very short of breath. This scares me considering I still have 2 1/2 more months to go. I just don't want to end up on bedrest like I did with Vanessa. I can't imagine how hard it would be with a 3-year-old to take care of. We have some friends in town for two weeks through the holidays and have been having a lot of fun spending time with them. They are here until the 5th so we still have a few more days to enjoy their company. Marei has to work the night of New Years Eve, like always, so I am just throwing a little party for the girls at home. We've got decorations, balloons, noisemakers, horns, hats, necklaces, and glasses. They are pretty excited about getting to drink juice out of plastic champagne glasses! We have so much snow outside, and still more on the way. We are expecting to get around 5 more inches of it starting late tonight. This will be a record breaker for Bismarck/Mandan for the most snow on the ground at one time. Should be good for the rivers and lakes, but I personally am sick of winter already! Of course our camera decides to act up on Chrismas of all days, but here are a few pictures. Marei reading Twas the Night Before Christmas to the girls before going to bed on Christmas Eve, and the girls holding their presents from Santa!

26 weeks

2008-12-12T16:15:00.000-08:00

Here is a picture of me at 26 weeks. I wish my belly button would pop out already! I've always had those perfectly round-shaped bellies when pregnant, but not this time. I've got this indent in the middle and a big lump on the left where there is a butt or a head. It almost appears like I shoved a pillow under my shirt with it all lumpy looking! The last trimester is when most of the weight comes on, and considering how big I am already we could be in for one heck of a ride! Olivia was over 10 pounds, Vanessa was almost 9. We'll see what happens with this one.

Christmas photos from the past.

2008-11-20T08:21:00.001-08:00

Olivia's first Christmas in 2000.

Vanessa's first Christmas, 2005.

Girls first Christmas together, 2005.

Christmas 2006.

Christmas at G&G Pattersons, 2007, with my niece Alaina.

I love Christmas! Looking at these photos made me sad though, to see how much my babies have grown. I have to scan in more of Olivia, as her younger years were prior to my digital camera days. I can't believe that next year we will have another baby in the pictures!

Girls lovin' the snow!

2008-11-08T18:31:00.000-08:00

It has arrived!

2008-11-07T12:12:00.000-08:00

Our first snow of the winter and it's a Snow Day. Schools are closed, daycares are closed, most places of employment are closed, and any interstates and major highways into or out of the Bismarck/Mandan area are also closed. Which is great news to Olivia. There is no school monday for a teachers convention and none on tuesday for veterans day. So she now has a five day weekend. It's times like this when I realize some of the extra benefits to being a stay-at-home mom. I'm not stuck looking for someone to watch the kids so I can go to work. It's shocking how last friday it was the most beautiful Halloween I can remember in ND, and just one week later we are buried in snow! They are both chomping at the bit wanting to go outside, but I said they have to wait til the wind calms down some. It's too windy right now that they would just end up with the flu in a few days. Hopefully tomorrow we can attempt a snowman. We'll see how the rest of the afternoon and overnight goes. Happy Snow Day!

Oh, CRAP!

2008-11-06T09:37:00.000-08:00

If there is any reason I would move out of ND, it would be the winters. I hate that icky white stuff that I like to call 'CRAP'. Driving on it is what makes it so awful, and I just hate freezing my butt off each time I step outside. They had forecast a blizzard warning lasting from last night till early tomorrow morning. So far no 'CRAP' has been spotted, however we received a hail storm instead. Now, in November it's just expected to have 'CRAP' so this was a shocking suprise. I woke up around 2:45am because of this loud pounding coming from our kitchen. When I peeked through the blinds it was hailing. Just pea size but it was coming down so hard and so fast that it made some awful noise on the windows. Olivia slept through it, but Vanessa was scared out of her mind. We sat in the living room watching tv and doing our best to ignore it for two hours until it finally calmed down enough to return to bed. I snapped a few pictures from our front door about 3am to prove to myself I wasn't dreaming! Mother Nature isn't done with us yet though, so today I made sure the girls have their snow boots and pants, hats and gloves, and that we are ready. Regardless of how much I despise it, I know it's something I have to deal with each year. So 'CRAP', bring it on! We're ready for you.

Ultrasound pics!

2008-11-04T16:58:00.000-08:00

I will be 21 weeks tomorrow, and according to my ultrasound today it is still measuring exactly at that. What great news to hear. We pulled Olivia out of school for a short time so she could see the ultrasound as well. It didn't seem fair to leave her out of such an exciting experience. Her eyes were as big as ping pong balls! The ultrasound tech was awesome, making sure to point out everything--the bladder, kidneys, brain, liver, stomach, heart, even where the umbilical cord is connected to the baby and will some day be a belly button. We chose not to find out the sex, as we greatly appreciate the surprise, so she was careful not to give anything away. The cutest was every time she was in the area of the feet the baby would start moving its feet up and down like it was running inside of me. What an amazing experience to not only feel but also see it at the same time! Our little peanut must have ticklish feet like mommy! The next time we will see our baby will be in the flesh at the moment its born. What a long 19 weeks to go!

Halloween 2008

2008-11-01T23:15:00.000-07:00

Presenting.....Vanessa the clown, Olivia as Phantom from Phantom of the Opera, Marei as a Pirate, and myself as a one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people eater!

I felt it!

2008-10-25T21:53:00.000-07:00

Well, it's official. The kicking has begun! It was very, very early this morning I felt the first kick. At first I thought maybe I was imagining it as I was half asleep on my way back from the bathroom, but when I placed my hand on the spot I felt it, that little peanut got me again! Of course when Marei put his hand there it stopped. But there will be many more to come, not to mention much harder kicks as time goes on as well. I just had to share my excitement of feeling that first kick. It sure is a feeling of relief for a mommy to finally feel those. It helps reinforce that everything is still ok in there.

Baby Update

2008-10-15T07:13:00.000-07:00

I turn 18 weeks pregnant today! This is such great news considering the history we've had and I didn't expect to make it past 10 weeks when I first found out about this baby. I had a doc visit yesterday. So far the baby is measuring right where it should be and the heartbeat sounded great, so says the doctor. To me as long as I hear it beating it sounds pretty good! She scheduled me for an ultrasound in 3 weeks, on Nov.4 at 10am. I am so excited. The first ultrasound pic was mainly to help determine an accurate due date and it was such a tiny peanut then. This next ultrasound will really let us see the baby in a more 'human' form. Vanessa still insists she would rather have a baby pig than a boy or a girl. Olivia wants a brother. Marei says it doesn't matter to him, but I think deep down he's rooting for a boy. All I want is for this next ultrasound to show that everything on the inside looks as good as they say it does on the outside.

Dental stress

2008-10-07T11:39:00.000-07:00

When I was around 6 or 7 I had a traumatizing dental visit. I remember a lot of pain and being scared and wanting my mom immediately. After I left there I was so afraid of dentists I would panic, cry, and plead with my mom to not make me go again. I was almost 16 before I finally found the courage to go again, and this was because my younger sisters had started seeing a pediatric dentist in our town, the only pediatric dentist, and I realized that if they were ok with it that maybe I should give it a try again. Dr. Goebel was great, however he stopped seeing patients at the age of 16. I was only able to get a small handful of visits with him before I reached his age limit.

If I had continued to go to a dentist throughout my childhood, I wouldn't have the awful teeth that I do now. It's awful to meet new people and think of how you can be polite but at the same time try to hide your teeth when talking or smiling. My two front teeth stick out much farther than the rest, and there is just no way to hide it. I hate taking pictures, I hate to smile around new people. When I introduce myself to someone I can actually see their eyes drift down to my teeth as I talk. It's humiliating. I often wondered why my parents didn't put their foot down and drag me by the hair into a dentists office when I was younger.

But now I am a parent and I realize exactly why. Olivia has been afraid of dentists since her first visit, and nothing traumatizing happened as I was in the same room with her the whole time. She is now 8 years old and still starts crying the moment the tell her to open wide. They don't even have to touch her and she starts freaking out, which only makes matters worse because it drags the time we are there out even longer. I have tried everything from promising a new toy afterwards to firmly telling her that no matter how much she cried she was going regardless and would stay there until they were done doing whatever it is they needed to. Her last visit was just a simple cleaning and before we went in I was truthful with her about my own feelings. I told her what it was like to get teased in school, to never want to have a picture taken, and if I had to how I would practice smiling different ways in front of a mirror to try to find a smile that showed as little of my teeth as possible but still looked ok. I told her that I refuse to let my children grow up with teeth like my own. As much as I don't like to see her cry, I would never forgive myself if I didn't force her to go now so she won't regret it later. She did great and had no cavitites which was a biggie for her. They did say that she will more than likely be needing braces within the next 6-12 months. It was the best news I had heard, cuz to me it meant that she was going to have her teeth well taken care of.

Vanessa had a cleaning that day as well. She has always been the lucky one. Never a cavity, perfect looking teeth. Well, this time they did find two tiny spots that needed to be fixed in the way back. I had a feeling that would happen as she doesn't brush back there the way she should and although I try to help her out she has a gag reflux that is just awful (gets that from her dad). They also said that she has a crossbite that would require an expander in about a year or so. I don't have too much info on this yet, but from what I've found online it sure doesn't look fun. Today she had an appointment to get the cavities filled. I was so nervous. I talked to her so much beforehand, explaining that this wasn't going to be the same as a cleaning, but how they had to get the sugarbugs out before it made her teeth hurt. When it came time for the numbing, I was a mess. All I could picture was Olivia crying in my mind, and here was Vanessa, only 3 years old, and as her mom I just wanted to protect her, make sure she wasn't scared. I wanted to yank her out of that chair and just run out the door with her. But inside I knew we had to get it over with. I was blown away. She didn't flinch once through the entire procedure. She mentioned that it hurt a little when they were numbing her, but that was all she said. She only cried once, and it was after we had left and were in the car. The puffy, tingling cheek and tongue was bothering her and I think she was confused about it. She started crying and said that it hurt, but she fell asleep in the car and by the time we got home she was fine. I am so relieved that it went smoothly for her. I was way more stressed out about the whole visit than she ever was!

Now that I am a mom, I can see why my own mom didn't force me into any dentists offices after my bad visit. She didn't want to see me in pain. She wanted to protect me, just like I felt for a brief moment in that office today with Vanessa. In a strange sense, I am glad that I have the teeth that I do. It has forced me to make sure that my girls are always brushing their teeth morning and night, and that they are keeping up with their dentist appointments, regardless of how much they might hate it. I AM protecting them, not from the dentist, but from the way society can treat a person based on their looks alone, thanks to my teeth. Don't get me wrong, if our dental insurance covered braces, I would get them put on immediately. I would love to get them at the same time as Olivia so we could go through it together. But money is tight. We have a house that we are working on, a baby on the way, some major dental stuff coming soon for the girls. I have learned to deal with my teeth for this long, I guess I'll just continue to deal with them till one day I can just yank them all out and get dentures. Then they'll be nice and straight like I've always wanted!

Lasagna

2008-10-05T19:41:00.000-07:00

I have never been a big fan of lasagna. I love pasta, but I think there is so much cheese in lasagna that I really didn't care for it too much. Yesteday afternoon I was watching a show on tv and they were eating lasagna and apparently baby thought it looked good. Before I knew it I was looking up the recipe for lasagna because I just had to have some. Marei thought I was nuts of course because I've never liked the stuff. But then I reminded him that I also don't like mayo, but when I was pregnant with Vanessa I was eating it plain by the spoonful, and hiding while I did it because I was so embarrassed. Well, I made lasagna for the first time today and it was a huge hit. I don't think I've seen Vanessa eat that fast before, lol! Marei is always telling me how good of a cook I have become in the last year and a half. I never really knew how to cook and I didn't enjoy doing it at all. But I've came a long way. I actually love to hunt down new recipes to try out and surprise the family with something new. I must say I was pretty amazed with how well the lasagna turned out. It didn't seem like it would be difficult to make, but I'm not a cheese person and there is a whole lot of cheese in the recipe I used. Anyways, the baby loved it, I had two helpings and feeling very full now!

Not Happy

2008-10-03T20:39:00.000-07:00

We have a cat that has been a great cat for 3 years now. We have had him from the day he was born and never had a problem. He is Olivia's pride and joy. A few days ago I noticed a small wet spot on our couch, and upon further inspection discovered it was cat pee. I cleaned it as well as I could and was just happy it was a small spot. Then late this afternoon, I sat in a wet spot, a much larger wet spot. After scrubbing the couch cushion, which is probably ruined now anyways, I removed it from the couch so no one would sit on it while it was drying. I discovered an extremely large wet spot along the side of the armrest and on the area under the cushions. I could immediately smell the urine very strongly and I won't go into detail with how upset I was, or still am. We bought new furniture to go in our new house, something we were very proud of being able to do. Now it is soaked in cat urine and the whole living room smells. He has never done this before, has always used the litter box with no problems. He isn't fixed, but he NEVER goes outside. Actually, he is afraid to. And from what I've read online, even if we get him fixed it doesn't guarantee that it will solve the problem. He isn't ever around other cats, so there shouldn't be any reason for him to mark his territory. I will be taking him in to the vet to be checked for a UTI, as I did find some info online that suggested that could be the problem. If it isn't then I'm really lost on what to do. No one has a miracle suggestion for removing the odor. Most people have had to get rid of the furniture or carpet that contains the odor. We cannot afford to replace brand new furniture right now! I don't know what to do. Ugh. I can't help but wonder why we even wanted pets in the first place. Our dog never stops barking and now our cat is peeing on our furniture. Calgon, Take Me Away!

A few pictures to start with

2008-09-25T13:40:00.000-07:00

I thought I would add some photos of my family to spice this page up until it takes off.

My favorite wedding photo.

My little saloon girls in Medora.

My cuties at the Band Parade.

First photo of our tiny fighter!

Surrounded by trouble! Out with my sisters.

Getting Started

2008-09-25T12:10:00.000-07:00

I'm giving Blogger a try. I normally do my blogging on myspace or cafemom. I've found a few of my cousins on here and thought this would be an easy way of sharing photos and keeping in contact with them. I'm still learning how to operate this, so things may change a lot in the beginning. I'm not finding this site nearly as easy as cafemom or myspace, but I'll figure it out in time.